I’ve never understood Halloween and I’ve always hated it.Â Surely it’s just legalised blackmail perpetrated by your neighbours’ children?Â In my dreams, Halloween goes something like this:
- There’s a knock on the door. I open it to find a pack of children wearing a collection of â‚¬1 “scary” masks and/or a collection of old sheets with holes cut in them and a parent discretely overseeing the whole operation.Â Some of the kids look rather confused about why they’re being told to dress up like ghosts and beg for their sweets whilst the older meaner ones understand what’s going on
- Â "Trick or treat" one of them eventually mutters after much nudging
- “I honestly don’t know”, I reply.Â “I’ve filled some of these shotgun cartridges with marshmallow sweets and some of them with ball bearings.Â Who wants to open their mouth and find out what I’ve got for you?”
Yeah, I’m a mean horrible person but isn’t that what Halloween is all about?Â ‘cos I really really hate today.Â I’m working late tonight, then a very quick stop at home before heading out for something to eat and late night shopping in Dunnes.Â Hopefully we won’t be back til 10pm and theÂ little darlings will be bouncing off the walls of their parent’s sitting room on a massive annual sugar buzz.