Random thoughts that deserve more than a Twitter, and that I need to get off my chest (to no one in partcular, just blogging catharsis):
- When people ask me how I am, I say “I’m fine”. When they ask me if I’m in pain, I say “No”. But the truth is that I haven’t had a pain free day since the accident. Each day the foot, thigh, knee, hip or arm hurts, sometime all together — ranging from a dull ache or stiffness to sharp stabbing pains that make me wince. I’ve kinda forgotten about them and to the average person I look no different than I was at Christmas. If I’m complaining about the pain then it means it’s pretty bad. I don’t take painkillers though. Partly because if I did start, I’d be on them 24x7 and that’s not a road I want to take. Partly it’s because the pain makes me angry. And I want to be angry.
The pain reminds me that I need to get better, be better, that life is short and I need to do more with it. It drives me.
- In September, myself and Hilary will have been together 9 years. That seems like a lifetime. In 9 more year my daughter will be 9. Another 9 year later and she’ll be 18. I can’t imagine how our lives will be in 9 years, let alone 18. The enormity of it seems quite daunting. What job will I have? Will we own a house? Will we be in financial difficulty? Will the world be a stable place?
In some ways life is short, in other ways it seems to stretch on forever.